LAFF OUT LOUD

My dear Ghanaians Its church,
not 'Chech'. Pastor, not 'pastar'.
Doctor, not 'Dactar'. My fellow
Nigerians Its bath, not 'baff'. Our
currency is called Naira, not
'narrah'. My dear Edo people Its
argument, not 'ajument'. My dear
Yorubas Its Air, not 'hair'. Eight,
not 'hate'. Its Van Persie, not 'Fan
Persin'. My dear Ibadan peeps Its
not 'sun tissu', its Sean Tizzle! Its
not 'siro' but zero! My dear
Hausa people Its fifty, not 'pipty'.
Its people, not 'fiffle'. Its five, not
'pipe'. Glo, not 'gilo'! Seriously it
is 'Tuface weds Annie Macauley',
stop saying 'Toothpaste weds
Animal calling'. My Egun people
Its actually 'MTN' and not 'NTM'!
My dear Calabar peeps Kindly
note its love and not 'rurf'. My
Benue people Its not 'Lick Loss',
its 'Rick Ross'. My Igbo people
There is nothing like 'thaaasand',
it is thousand. It is bed-sheet and
not 'bay sheet'. And its thirty, not
'thartie'! Our Lord's prayer is
actually 'Our Father, who at in
Heaven. Hallowed be your
name...', and not 'Our Father, look
at eleven, adaobi thy name...'.

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CHIMA OKPEBO
@chima4cent